Monday, July 24, 2006

Goodbye Omitama

I made incredible progress yesterday; I finally returned my pendant to the dojo. Yes, I know what you’re thinking; I should have done it a long time ago, but I suppose the fear was still running rampant in my mind. I knew in my heart that the teachings were false but my mind was too fucked up to truly give up the pendant. I went to the dojo, walked in, but unlike usual I did not remove my shoes, or wash my hands, I entered the Doshi’s office and I dropped the pendant on his desk; he was in the shrine area offering okiyome. I wrote a short note on a post it; it said: I hope someday the truth will register in your mind and that you will be able to use your wonderful gift of communication to aid those who are still under the pendants spell-Lara. I did speak to anyone, just walked out. It was a moment of pure triumph; a chapter in my life that had finally ended. I felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders; though I have to admit, I’d be lying if I told you the fear is completely gone. However, I am hopeful that someday I will be completely free of Sukyo Mahikari and their wretched teachings. When my time comes to die I will look forward to seeing my sister and knowing that I will come face to face with the kind, wonderful, benevolent creator, who is nothing like the tyrant SM tries to create. As Sukyo Mahikari burns out, its ashes scattered by the wind, I pray that it releases the hold it has on its prisoners, allowing them to dance and sing in the open air. Your doubts are not a spiritual disturbance. Do not ignore the mind and common sense God gave you.


Blogger Steve said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:39 PM  
Blogger Steve said...

Hi Lara,
It's a wonderful thing to claim your right to explore what's out there. I celibrate your spiritual freedom.
It is indeed a diverse exciting world we live in.
Go for it!

I came across this poem many years ago, it has some really nice concepts. I pull it out from time to time and have a read, it's always refreshing.

- Desiderata -

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

7:42 PM  
Blogger Jejune said...

Congratulations Lara, well done - I'm so glad you got to the point where you could return it. It will help you to really turn the corner in getting over SM's teachings and influence over your life. You've taken charge! :)

8:04 PM  
Blogger Anne said...

Good on you!

BTW, I'm sure no-one was thinking you should have done that earlier, or whatever. What to do with omitama and when to do it are personal decisions.

Glad to hear you sounding like a weight has gone!

5:29 AM  
Blogger Joe said...

way to go lara!. mine has been sitting in a drawer for a long time. i am having an inspiration !

2:44 PM  
Blogger Joe said...

Thanks Lara, I owe you big time!
You can read my blog to discover your inspiration.

10:01 AM  
Blogger Deepti Nangia said...

Congratulations Lara! I am reading you post after 7 years of you writing it. SM has targeted India now and they are growing rapidly. I am sure you are much relaxed and one with God now : ) God bless you.

2:57 PM  

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